Jason Bedell Online

"So you wanna be a rap/rock superstar, and live large, a big house, 5 cars, you're in charge, comin' up in the world, don't trust no body
gotta look over your shoulder constantly."

- the great American Poets, Cypress Hill (insert sarcasm here, even though I loved me some Cypress Hill back in the day)

What a great way to start off this chapter in these ol' Vans. Honestly, these lyrics are a glance into my head at the time. We were a band playing music- for Jesus. It was Christian based and we were loving the opportunity to play music. We played with bands like Ghotti Hook, Squad 5-0, Vroom, The Huntingtons, and more. It was great. I loved it. But for all the wrong reasons.

I could have been all about spreading the love of Jesus. Instead, I was all about getting girls, being the center of attention, and then seeing where it would go with any lady that showed me attention. Again, I loved it. Now don't get me wrong- we're were not be biggest, best thing since sliced bread, but we had a good run.

The problem was I was the "Judas" of the group. I lied, stole, and manipulated my way through the rock star terrain with my band mates, friends and family. I used it to make money, feed my ego, and live a lifestyle contrary to the lyrics I sang to venues of kids every weekend...

I was finally found out right in the middle of recording our CD and preparing for a spring break tour. They were devastated. They despised me- and they had every right. I was a two faced man living a lie. We finished the CD, did the tour (without our bassist and trumpet player, they had fill ins). It was awful. I felt horrible.

With people graduating, other things arising, and my feeding the flame of a band in distress- we went our separate ways. A couple of the guys I have yet to really speak with. A few have forgiven me, and some have just kept away.

I deserve the treatment. I made my bed and have had to lie in it to this day. God has forgiven me. He has continued to restore me. And now it was time to move on past the music, chasing fame, and trying oh-so-hard to be cool.

But before I graduated and moved on, God needed to shake me up a bit...